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And yet, in the heat of the sexual moment, dirty talk can be arousing for many—that is, if you know what dirty things to say during sex to get you and your partner going (more on that below). As with most things to do with eroticism, it’s often the least politically correct things that are some of the biggest turn ons behind closed bedroom doors. If talking dirty in person feels too intimidating at first, you can always get started via text or email. Communicating in writing tends to be easier, since you have more time to think about what to say, and you don’t have to be face-to-face when you deliver your dirty talk. When exploring dirty talk and sexting for the first time, your impulse may be to get super serious. But you don’t necessarily have to deliver a series of clever lines or put on any type of “act” during dirty talk — unless you want to and find it hot, of course.

Why Am I So Tired After Sex?

I’ve listed these ideas as levels, but feel free to mix and match! They can be used as steps all in the same conversation, or you can have a conversation of just flirting or just roleplay. If you’re new to dirty talking, you can try it in written form (through messaging / texting each other) rather than talking in person. This gives you some time to think about what to say.

Intro It on a Phone Call

It is important to note that clear communication, consent, and respect are vital to ensure that all individuals enjoy dirty talk. Therefore, it’s super beneficial to carve out some non-sexual time to engage in an open conversation about boundaries, desires, and limits. Coming up with a plan to incorporate dirty talk into future sexual experiences is beneficial because it is likely that comfort levels around it may differ.

In the heat of the moment, try these mood-enhancers…

Unless he has insane goofball rizz, it might not land right. Talking dirty is a thrilling way to enhance your sexual connection with your partner. But if you’re fumbling up your tongue tango, it can quickly deflate the mood (not to mention other things).

• At the end of the day, dirty talk and sexting can be intimidating.
• A naughty message, note, or a walk-by whisper is always a good idea.
• Simple commentary like, “Mmmm that’s making me so hot/hard/wet,” can keep things spicy and moving along well.
• But what exactly are you supposed to be whispering about?

This is a great way to express your needs and desires without directly seeing their reaction firsthand. As with any aspect of sex, it’s simply a question of finding what works for all the participants. “You can progress to role-playing in stages that march in key with your comfort and familiarity with your partner and the progressive level of each partner’s arousal,” says Love. Doesn’t it feel good to turn to your man after a hot session, still floating in your sex haze, and say, “Baby, that was the best I’ve ever had,” and mean it. If your guy knows what he’s doing in bed tell how much you appreciate it.

Eye contact and erotic touching are far more important. Dirty text messages are a fun and exciting safety blanket under which you can establish a seductive scenario, but as with all online flirting, take the relationship offline ASAP. If you’ve already got a dynamic connection with a girl, try broaching the topic of sex via WhatsApp, Tinder, or SMS. Dirty texts can be a great way to see where her boundaries are and to be light and flirty to gauge how the tone changes. Here’s a breakdown of each stage to sexy talk perfection. Dirty talk is a great tool to help put into words what you’re experiencing in the moment or what your desires are.